I like to check my Sitemeter at least once a day-I like to see where folks are coming from.* That’s how I found out about the South Bend Tribune article-I saw an inbound link I didn’t recognize, clicked on it, and up popped the article!
Well, a few days ago I noticed an link from a frugality forum in the UK. Someone had recommended my website as being a good frugal resource. Of course I had to read through the thread to see what else was said about me 
The most interesting comment I saw, besides a brief discussion on whether my kids are really named Buddy and Princess (they are not) was:
Just had a look at the site – it is very good but she sounds like she is really rich and I always think it is so much easier to be frugal if it is a life choice rather than a necessity.
That sort of floored me. I don’t in any way think of myself as being rich. We are very comfortably middle class. The link that the original poster included was for my “about me” page, which cross links to my 100 things about me Meme etc. Granted I mention my diamond ring (which Yankee Bill bought inexpensively from a friend who got a divorce and wanted to sell the stone) and the antique cars (which were left to him by his dad), and the motorcycles (which are YB’ passion) etc.
So this brought up several questions.
#1-Do I come across as being rich?
#2-Does the fact that I am not being forced to be frugal by circumstances mean that my techniques/advice are less relevant?
#3-Is it somehow better, or more righteous, to be frugal by necessity?
In answer:
#1-I don’t think of myself as being rich. I feel that I’ve always taken great pains on this site not to misrepresent myself-I let folks know straight out that this is a lifestyle choice for us, not necessity. Then again, some of the perception of wealth may be a difference in culture. Different things show wealth in different countries. For example-when I lived in Germany I learned that not only was gas much more expensive than it was in the states, but that automobiles were taxed (pretty heavily) each YEAR based on the size of their engine in cubic feet. Since SUVs have large engines and use lots of gas, only wealthy people in Germany could afford to own and maintain them. A German looking at a fairly typical American family who has a pickup truck and an SUV might incorrectly assume that the American is quite wealthy. Who knows what cues in my meme might have lead someone in the UK to see me as more wealthy than I am.
#2-I think that the advice is good no matter what the giver’s situation is. Shopping at thrift stores saves me money, and will save almost anyone money regardless of their situation.
#3-Being forced into something is not, to my mind, more virtuous. As a matter of fact, I sometimes feel a bit smug that I am frugal when I don’t have to be. (I know, unattractive isn’t it? But I’m being honest here.) Also, I sometimes ponder if the reason that we ARE comfortable financially is just because I DO take the time and effort to be frugal. As many folks can tell you, it wouldn’t have taken long when I first got into the working world to run up a very large credit card bill that would have messed up the rest of my financial future. My initial choices and continued frugality have allowed me to have and maintain my current lifestyle.
I’m interested to see how you all weigh in on this. Be polite, but please be honest-I really would like to hear your opinions.
*Note: If you come here by typing my website address directly in the to field, or by clicking on a bookmark it simply comes up “unknown”. I only get a link if someone has come here by clicking on a link on a different site, be it a blogroll or whatever.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I would agree with you that some people preceive “rich” differently. People looking at my family may say we are rich, but monetarily we aren’t that rich. We are middle class and are able to have me stay home with our son thanks to good money management. Sure I have heard people say about us, why does my husband work multiple jobs if we have so much money. We are only living comforatbly because he does work extra jobs and we spend our money wisely. We rarely buy anything at regular price (gas and some food excluded obviously) but we also don’t look like we’re poor. We have a nice house, nice cars (one which is fully paid for)…etc. So some people believe we must have the money to be spending on lots of bills each month, but really I’ve learned how to shop so that we can spend money on the items we really want.
All that to say…..I think that “RICH” is defined differently for each person. We may not be very RICH monetarily, but we are definately RICH in other ways.
Hi Jenn,
I think the comment you mention was aimed at another blog, there were several mentioned in the discussion.
I’m a mom, married to a college student who’s looking at government service (which will mean he’ll make 1/3 of what others in his graduating class will make).
But we’re so ridiculously rich. We have a car, and can go out to eat once in a while, and can save a bit. We have health insurance, and have no consumer debt, but wear nice clothes and have hobbies. We’re happy and healthy and have sufficient for our needs. That, to me, is being rich.
It means nothing to me that you’re frugal by choice, as opposed to frugal by necessity. I like reading your ideas, your experiences with being frugal. That’s it.
You come across as wise with your money, and that’s great. I really don’t care how much money anybody makes–if they’ve got good frugal advice, I’ll take it.
Hope you enjoyed San Diego!
I’m from the UK, and a member of the site you mention. The poster was most definitely referring to another blog ( recommended by an Australian member!) as being the *rich* one.
Frugal advice from anyone is helpful, but I’d be hard put not to agree with the feeling that it’s easier to adhere to as a life-choice rather than from necessity.
Cooking the evening meal can be an unwelcome chore at times, but baking a beautiful cake or similar never is, simply because I choose to do it.
Hi Jenn
I am regularly on the UK site that you mention and I also believe that the comment was about another blog and not yours.
Through that forum I have been ‘introduced’ to your blog and so far I have only just dipped in but can already see that there is alot of interesting and relevant information here, I look forward to reading more.
I believe that being frugal whether through choice or necessity is a virtuous state of living, if my frugality causes me to become rich it will give me a sense of security, but it will not cause me to become profligate! And anyway, with a cosy home, my health and a loving family I am already rich
Um, rich, no. “Richer” than me, definitely. LOL
I do think it’s easier to be frugal when you don’t have to be, because saving money often requires spending money – at least up-front. For example, I can get my daughters’ clothes for much less if I buy them BEFORE I need them, at lower prices, than if I wait until they’re needed. But that requires having money to spend on something that isn’t strictly needed at the moment.
However, frugal suggestions are frugal suggestions, and I have never found your blog less helpful because you have more money than I do; that would be silly!
Globally, having choices is indicative of being rich. It all depends on one’s expectations.
Whether you are frugal by choice or by necessity takes nothing away from the value or virtue of your advice.
Don’t let this get to you! It’s always a good idea to make the most of what you have, whether you have alot or a little.
Personally, I enjoy your site and the information you offer. You don’t (at least it doesn’t come across) “talk the talk, but not walk the walk”. You are frugal b/c you enjoy it and like to see how far you can take it to save more money and time.
Perceptions can be VERY dangerous. You know what you are, so that is what matters. (just my 2 cents)
“Rich” is so relative. But living frugally is about so much more than how much money or stuff you have. It’s also about using your and the earth’s resources wisely, and being creative and discerning, figuring out what you really want instead of just caving to advertising, etc. I love reading your blog, for the ideas and also because I grew up in western, upstate NY and I like hearing about it again (live in VT now). You go girl!, and don’t worry about the naysayers! Rhonda
I would consider you rich. Yes. Most rich people including my rich relatives got that way by being frugal and managing thier money well. Being rich is a true art. That is good. You worked very hard to get there and you desserve to be. A splurge now and then is good too, I am sure you will agree. Another thing I have found out about rich people is they are very creative. An example is when something is broken they fix it themselves in a creative way. Rich people are much like inventors because, they find ways to cut costs and make better use of thier money. Some people I know have gotten rich by corrupt means and I would never consider this route because, they don’t remain rich long. I believe you will because, you want to and you don’t mind the hard work involved. Good luck. Annette Thanks again for the very helpful blog. It has helped my standard of living too.
Reading your blog for a while I have never thought of you as being rich. Just practicing being frugal so well you are able to have and do the things you do. That encourages the rest of us.
First time commenter, here…I ran into your blog after doing a customized Frugal Google (LOL) search for cloth napkins maybe a month ago.
Living frugally is a LIFESTYLE, filled with choices. In the same breath, I would also like to say that for many of us, there are different seasons in life; times when living frugally is a choice because we choose it (even though we may not have to) or times when living frugally is pure survival. I’ve lived both ways and each season is equally deserving of merit.
Like one of your other commenters said, it is about managing our resources — all inevitably pulled from the earth. Why believe the marketers and those who would have us endlessly CONSUME??? We don’t have to; generally, I would say that kind of life isn’t fulfilling or gratifying in the least. It is more important to be careful stewards of what we do have than to live in brash wastefulness.
I would also like to say that it isn’t just those who could be classified “rich” or “middle-class” who live in wastefulness. [Indeed, as another commenter pointed out -- many people get to that level BECAUSE of frugality.] Those in the lower echelons of society also live in waste. We are being raised in a consumer society, where that kind of life is normal.
I worked with a young single mom at one point (a friend I am still in touch with); she lived with her parents, worked FT, and was barely getting by. And yet, her nails were always manicured, her clothes and perfumes were “top of the line”, she ate out for lunch every day, had continuous sodas and vending machine items at her side, had the maxed-out cell phone plan, etc. etc. etc. And yet, there were times were she had no groceries (especially when she tried living on her own). Why? BECAUSE OF THE WAY SHE LIVED.
A frugal life is not made less by how much you have at your disposal. A frugal life is a thoughtful life, using one’s resources wisely in both times of need and times of plenty. Has our ancestors’ knowledge been completely stripped from us? I think our current culture has done a pretty fine job of doing this; and what a shame.
Good dialogue. Thanks, Jenn. Even if they weren’t talking about your blog.
I don’t think you’re rich, we’re in a similar position. I like your ideas and incorporate some of them into our lives. Also, you are always very upfront that you are frugal in some areas so you can splurge in others-our philosophy as well.
People sometimes think we are rich too, but the way I figure it, we all have the *same* money to spend, we just choose to eat at home, not have cable, and drive older cars (paid off) in exchange for having a bigger house than necessary. Other people choose a very small house, lease cars, eat out and have cable TV. We all spend what we make, it’s just how you priortize your spending. Depending on where you sit, it often looks like the other camp is rich.
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond-I usually am better about that.
I want to start by saying that I thought it was cute that the forum in question cross-linked back to this very post, and one of the readers there said she thought it was spooky that I could read what they wrote about me
Ahh, the wonders of Sitemeter.
I didn’t take offense at the comment, and I think this turned into a great discussion-I really love it when that happens. You all have such great ideas and points of view, it’s nice when everyone starts speaking up and sharing.
I can see where the “rich” comment may not have been directed at me. To be fair, the entire thread was started specifically for someone to recommend my site-and with the linear nature of posts when several other sites have also been mentioned and then someone pipes in with a “she seems” comment, it is difficult to tell who they are referring to. Since the poster didn’t specify which site she was talking about I assumed it was me. No harm, no foul eh?
So welcome to the new readers, thanks for the input from the returning readers, and thanks to all for keeping everything in the friendly, polite tone that we like to use here at Frugal Upstate.
I think you are sooo right. I/we are also frugal by choice and feel that just because I have the money to spend on something does not mean I have to spend it. Wh ydoes everyone have to live on the finacial edge. I like my place way far back from the edge so that if something comes up, which in life they always do…we can do what needs to be done. In my case…we may be “forced” to homeschool ds who is in special ed. NYS is changing their graduation requirements which may make it very hard (read near impossible) for ds to get a HS diploma. If that is the case (we will know in 1-2 years) then why send him to school when I could homeschool and give him as good an education. Well, I would need the fiancial means to go at least 1/2 time. If we did not live below our means all these years that would not be possible. You just never know what life is going to throw at you. I say good for you…frugality is NOT just for the poor!
Life the old saying goes, “the grass is always green on the other side of the fence”.
And to answer your question, No. You don’t come off as a rich snob.
To me, being rich is surrounded by a loving family and supportive friends. Sure, I make a decent living by working from home. But I always count my blessings, especially since many others are not so fortunate.