This post was written last year, right before Thanksgiving. Since I am spending today celebrating with family, I thought I’d pull this one out of the files for you all to enjoy.
The shopping madness is now truly upon us. Black Friday is right around the corner- as is Cyber Monday. In a few short days and many folks will be up to their eyeballs in debt.
Buying and giving gifts is of course a big part of the Christmas season. For some folks this is a joy, and for others a trama, but most have to deal with it one way or another. There are lots of great ideas and info out there on the blogosphere about how to deal with the whole gift giving process.
Last year Stephanie (of Adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood and Stop the Ride) wrote about her family’s “Four for Christmas” method.
Now this works great for her family, but her children have been raised with this gift philosophy. It may be a bit harder to implement with children who have a completely different expectation.
But that brings up a very key point-it is important to consider, and manage expectations.
What do I mean?
Well in the case of a family with older kids, or grownups, that means letting folks know, well in advance, what your Christmas morning (or whenever you give gifts) is going to “look” like.
If you intend to make drastic changes then the more time you give folks to get used to the idea, the smoother things will go. Catherine at the Frugal Homemaker Plus talks about how she opted out of the extended family name drawing, and put somewhat of a cap on the kids gift giving.
For kids, especially smaller ones, it can be even easier. You can simply talk up whatever method you chose, and for the most part they will accept it. You can also prepare them to be excited about whatever you have chosen to purchase.
Let me explain with a few examples from my own holiday.
Number one-We do the whole “Santa” thing. (I know some folks disagree with this, I happen to like it.) but YB and I wanted our children to understand early that although they can make a list with all of their hearts desires, that Santa doesn’t give you everything you ask for, just some of the things.
This is part of our child rearing philosophy-that kids should learn that they don’t get everything they ask for. Call me a mean mommy-but I’ve made sure that each year there is at least one item on their list that they don’t get. Believe me, with 3 sets of grandparents and 5 aunts and uncles all asking for gift ideas, sometimes that is difficult to do 
Somehow Princess got it into her head this year that Santa only brings you ONE of the gifts you ask for, and that you have to think really hard and decided which one it is. That works for me
Buddy is excited about Christmas, but didn’t have a specific wish–so here is how I managed his expectations.
A month ago I found a transformer at Aldi’s at a great price. Knowing he likes trucks, robots and all things that are typically boy I bought it and hid it in the closet-even though as far as I knew he had no idea what a transformer was.
Then comes the sneaky part. I started getting him excited about the idea of getting a transformer.
I pointed them out at stores, and it fliers (which they are pouring over the way I used to pour over the Service Merchandise catalog before Christmas). At this point he is convinced that he really wants one. When he opens it on Christmas morning he will be very excited.
Of course, if I had not done this build up he still would have liked it, but this way he will be thrilled when he opens it.
Have you ever done anything to help manage your family’s expectations for Christmas? How did it work out? Please share!
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
We don’t do “Santa,” but this could easily be adapted for those who do. My kids make a list of what they want; I set a budget and select no more than three things from their list up to that budget amount. Why three things? Three things was good enough for Jesus!
My children never know what three things I am going to pick, things never get out of hand, and I always include little fun and inexpensive things in their stockings as well.
I’m really glad you re-posted this. I think it’s a great attitude. I’ve been working on scaling back expectations, especially with my son, this year…
I love reading all about how everyone handles this! It can go so many ways, but we are constantly trying to come up with how to raise our son (who is only 3 now) to be grateful and appreciative and not buy into some of the attitudes in today’s materialistic world.
And I love that I am not the only one to buy things at a great price and then try to get my kid excited about it. I do this too! LOL
This is a great post! I’ve decided to change the Santa routine this year…my kids are 10 and 14 and used to getting a pile of gifts. I’ve cut back over the years, but this year I decided to stop the madness entirely. I was trying to figure out how to do this because it is tricky when they’re older. Luckily, they both wanted the same thing this year, and it is on the pricey side, so I just asked them whether they would like to have one big joint gift instead of a small pile of individual gifts. They’re really excited about the idea of what they’ve asked for, so they made it easy for me to change course.
Trish-That’s a great idea. I’ve read of a lot of folks who do the 3 gift thing, I think the idea behind it is great.
Susie-It’s a process, but I think we can all get there. It’s all about talking with them and giving a consistent message about it. I think it is also very important to point out from a young age that “every family is different, this is the way things are done in our family”–it helps when they get older and start noticing that their friends get 57 presents etc. . .
Nikki-yet again proof that you and I are on the same wavelegnth