Sometimes you desire to be frugal just has to bow to reality.
Let me explain.
As I’ve mentioned before I am traveling this week. I’ve got a conference, some business meetings and then a few days visiting my sister (she’s so fun-we are going to have a great time) Yankee Bill (bless him) is playing single parent for an entire week. This is happening more and more frequently lately.
The first time I went out of town and left him on sole parental duty it was for a long weekend. I lhad leftovers in the fridge that he could feed the kids and bought ingredients for a couple of meals. When I came home the leftovers were still in the fridge, as were the ingredients. He had taken them out to eat twice, and eaten at my mother in law’s house the 3rd night.
The leftovers had to go in the trash.
I learned a lesson from that. Despite my desire to save money and cook from scratch, it is a WASTE of money to throw food out. I had to accept the fact that my husband does not like cooking and after a long, hard day at work will most likely take the path of least resistance when it comes to suppertime.
So I decided to deal with reality. Now when I go away I usually leave some easy frozen meals that I would NEVER normally purchase. Frozen lasagna, Frozen (not homemade!) pizza, Frozen Salsbury steaks. . well you get the idea. While these meals are more expensive than cooking from scratch, they are much less than eating out. I do leave a crockpot meal for the first dinner, cooking away merrily on the countertop that they can have for dinner that night. With this method we both wind up fairly happy.
You know, that’s called a compromise 🙂 Funny how one has to do that in marriage. Actually, its a good skill for life in general.
There are a lot of times in your journey to frugality that you will find reality clashing with your fabulous frugal plans. You may have a glorious vegetable garden intended for the spring, full of tasty, fresh lush vegetables. But if you work 40 hours a week, tote kids around to activities a couple of evenings and spend the weekends at sports and church, and have never, ever had a garden before. . . well when exactly do you think that is going to happen?
I don’t say this to discourage you, but rather to have you stop and look at your plans objectively. Your desire may be a huge garden, but reality might be a smaller plot that you can maintain in the time available to you. Or even just some herbs in pots on the deck that can dress up your bargain priced groceries. Then maybe next year build on from there.
Just don’t let those “realities” get used as an excuse!
So come on, fess up folks! When have you had your frugality run smack up against reality?
Joanna says
I can TOTALLY relate.
Every morning, before I go to work, I make 2 lunches- one for me, one for my husband. About half the time he forgets his at home, another quarter of the time he brings it, but there’s a “better offer” to go out with coworkers. The $7 per lunch adds up compared to the pennies invested in the packed lunch. Sigh. So, he’s been brown-bagging only about 2 lunches a week, even though I’ve tried to keep up my end of the deal. I wonder what creative compromise we could think up, like you guys have?
Southerner says
Baseball season! We are at the ballpark every night. It is unrealistic for me to plan on making from scratch meals every night. Instead, that is the season for pizza, hotdogs, hamburger helper and quick meals. I spend more for these meals. I also keep quick grab and go snacks like sunflower seeds, peanut butter crackers, granola bars and gum around.
My husband wears a shirt and tie to work. JC Penneys has some shirts that require little ironing and stay nice after ironing. They are more expensive but look so much better and I spend less time ironing so it is worth it to pay more for them. I could find better bargains but my time has a value to it.
rmlrhonda says
Schedules most definitely create difficulties when it comes to frugal meals for us. My son is playing high school basketball, and my husband and I both work, so he can’t go home in between when school ends and a ball game begins. The result is a lot of sub sandwiches or slices of pizza being purchased to tide him over. But we still manage to keep it pretty frugal the rest of the time. I do think you have to figure out what works for your particular circumstances.
Heather says
I can totally relate to Joanna’s comment. My hubby much prefers eating out with coworkers than brown-bagging leftover and eating in his cubicle. I can’t say I blame him. Another smack of reality was cloth diapers. I fully intended to go the cloth diaper route, but after reading the washing details, etc. that are involved, I went with disposables.
foamfan says
I can be frugal at home, but I find it harder to be “cheap” when traveling. So many tourist spots are nowhere near a Walmart or other economical venue.
Sometimes, you just have to throw up your hands, and go, “okay…just this once…I’ll buy one of the hotel’s pricey danish pastries for breakfast…”
Marcia says
We used to have the “lunch out” problem too. My husband loves to eat out (so did I, but I got fat doing it). We compromised with once/week. He goes to lunch on Friday with friends. Sometimes, he gets a better offer during the week, and will leave the lunch I packed for the next day.
One way that I got him to carry a lunch more often is to make sure they were tasty. If we have 2 different kinds of leftovers, I ask him which one he wants, and I take the other.
For dinners, I hear you there too. My hubby is going on a trip for three days next week. I know after working a (part-time) day and spending the rest of the day with my almost-3 year old, there’s no way I’m cooking. So I’m making soup and beans and rice this weekend, and just going to suck it up and eat those for three straight days. It only requires a microwave.
Anonymous says
I fight to save money. I shop with coupons, buy marked down meat and shop at the cheapest grocery stores like Aldis. I take my lunch when I go to work or school. My husband blows 60 or 70 dollars a week on lunch at work and sodas (oh and let’s not forget breakfast as well which half the time is from 7-11). This is depsite my many attempts to make him lunch and buying him bottled soda to take to work (and yes he has a fridge and microwave there). I won’t say this is a compromise as I just haven’t won yet! He finally did come round to my way of eating on vacation (ie getting a place with a kitchenette and cooking in breakfast and lunch), so I have hope I will win the lunch battle with time!
Candi
TJ says
When I travel, I too have to accept that hubby will take the path of least resistance. I do buy canned soups and frozen dinners, but he will still hit McD’s or BK for a burger. At least we don’t have to throw the frozen food out.
There are also the many lunches I make, that he chooses not to eat and then forgets to put the food into the fridge when he gets home. I have cried before while throwing away cheese and mayo and other foods I would have eaten.
momstheword says
Over the last two years (this year will be the third) several of our friends have had children graduate. Some of these kids we’ve known from birth (and before!) and some are very good friends with our oldest son.
When our 20 yr old graduated two years ago, he received cards with money inside the envelope, he also received a few gifts as well.
That is a big deal in our budget to either give cash or buy several gifts each June. This spring there will be several more graduations. (And more still when our youngest graduates).
After this our friend’s children will marry (more gifts), and then have children of their own (still more).
I guess it’s kind of full circle, starting when I attended the engagement parties and weddings of my friends, and then the 1st birthday of their child.
Leanne says
I’ve managed to get the husband to eat the lunch I pack everyday, breakfast is another thing.
I refuses to get up a little earlier to have something before he leaves the house. I’ve tried making granola bars or something similar for him to take with him (he’s on the road all day) and I always give him a thermos cup of coffee in the morning to take with him but he’ll still stop at a bakery and buy something for his breakfast.
If I could learn how to make danish pastry or even a good baked doughnut I’d win this one, but I haven’t had much success yet.
Micki says
It took ten years to make my husband even look at leftovers, there is hope, Now at almost 15 years, I refuse to make anything else until the leftovers have been conquered. he can eat, or not.
Jenn says
Oh MY! I had no idea that husbands and leftovers (or lunches) were such a hot topic. I think that this deserves its own post in a week or so. Maybe I should even do a Mr.Linky so folks can post tips and ideas for how to tackle this. . . .gears turning in brain.. . .