Dear Frugal Upstate,
I love your blog, tips and advice. I have one I don’t think I’ve seen on here before.
Photo by Pocius
How do you handle all the fundraising at school? We have money to donate things to the school, but we are currently trying to pay debt off and I swear it seems like we are currently bombarded with send money for this and that.
Now they are doing a huge fundraiser and are really pushing it on the kids to get your parents, family, etc. to donate and I think it’s too much, but b/c my daughter is 6 she wants to participate.
Thanks
Stephanie
Ohhh, fundraisers! I think as school budgets continue to be cut and family budgets get tighter this is going to be more and more of an issue. S thank you for bringing the topic up.
Personally, I really hate school fundraisers that include selling things from some sort of catalog. Let’s face it-mostly it’s the parents who wind up doing the selling. I’m not going to let my 8 yr old wander up and down the street selling things. . . and with several hundred kids in a smallish community all selling the same stuff, it’s hard to find someone who hasn’t already been sold to. So the only way to really sell things is for the parents to take the catalogs into work.
And once I’ve asked YOU to buy some overpriced stuff that you don’t really want. . . then I feel obliged to buy YOUR kids overpriced stuff that I don’t want the next time around. The end result? We both end up with things we don’t want, weren’t in the budget, and the school only gets a percentage of the money anyway.
Besides that philosophical conundrum, we are on the main residential drag of our village with the nice sidewalks and streetlights where older kids can easily walk around and, well, we get hit up for every bottle drive, canned food drive and fundraiser that comes down the pike. Once you buy from one kid in one fundraiser you feel obliged to buy from every one that knocks on the door. . .
So how do I handle it? Well-ever since my kids have been in school I have refused to let them participate.
Yup. I’m one of those moms.
The only “corporate” things we sell are Girl Scout cookies and Boyscout popcorn-and that’s because people actually ask us and want to buy them.
Photo by Nina Alter
The first few years of school I sent in notes to the teacher and principal stating that I don’t participate in those types of fundraisers but that I would be sending in a donation for the school. Then I do send in about $20 per fundraiser.
If anyone come to the door at our house asking us to buy things I can just say “no thank you” with a completely clear conscience because I know I haven’t asked anyone in their family to buy stuff from my kids.
That’s it.
I sit here every day trying to help you all save money and telling folks to live a good life on a budget, not to spend more than they can afford, not to buy things that they don’t need. . . so I’m just philosophically opposed to buying something I don’t want just because it’s for a “good cause”. I’m even more opposed to being the one ASKING someone to buy something they don’t want, don’t need or possibly even can’t afford.
Photo by Asheville Library
Now, if it’s a fundraiser where folks are doing something or providing something-a bake sale, a hotdog sale, a car wash, special fairs or festivals with entrance fees, buying concessions at events. . . I’m happy to participate and purchase.
Photo by John Conelly
I’ve also happily purchased those local “coupon books” where you can get discounts at local retailers and restaurants because I feel that I get my value from them.
As for your particular situation Stephanie-I’m willing to bet the reason you 6 yr old is so hot to participate is because there are prizes given to the kids based on the amounts sold. Most of it is really inexpensive junk until the kids have gotten to the really high sales amounts.
If it were me, here is what I’d do.
I’d explain to my daughter that Mom doesn’t want to ask friends to buy things, because then when THEIR kids are selling things you’d feel like you had to buy from them. Instead explain that you are sending in a donation of money to help the school, and that instead of getting the prize for the sale you are going to take her to the dollar store next time you are in town and let her pick out any ONE thing she wants.
Yeah-it’s a bit like bribery. And you are spending a dollar you don’t “need” to. And typically I’m a person who doesn’t believe in buying kids presents for “no” reason. . . but it’s HARD to understand these things when you are 6. It’s hard to be the only kid not selling, it’s hard to be the one not getting a prize. I just think that spending a buck to make things a little easier to swallow is worth it.
And hey, by the time she is 10 like Princess she’ll probably just shrug and roll her eyes at you when you say “we aren’t going to participate in that–but next time they have a bake sale we can make a huge batch of cookies together for it”.
What do you guys think? Is that an appropriate way to deal with the situation? What kind of fundraisers do you happily support, and what do YOU do about the ones you don’t?
My kids go to a small magnet school for K-5 and the school is a “program” so it doesn’t get all of the same funding as a regular school, so we need the $$. We do one fundraiser (the wrapping paper!) at the beginning of the year. Our PTA has come up with several other income streams but one big one is what we call the “Hassle Free Hundred” and it sounds like you came up with it yourself. We don’t get more fundraisers–we just as parents to send in $100 instead. It can be broken up over the year so it fits your budget better, but I love not having tons of fund raisers. (My son is now in middle school AND in band and oh–the fundraisers and we do the same–I’ll send you money but I’m not selling $8 bags of gummy worms.) The $100 isn’t mandatory, but we do have good participation. It has declined the past couple of years with the economy, but we still have a good percent participating.
Well stated Jenn. I have had it up to my neck with school fund raisers. We do the same thing, send in a donation. We get McDonald nights once a month. I don’t want my kids eating McDonald’s period. The peer pressure and stress the school puts on families is ridiculous in participating. I happily donate box tops and campbell soup labels when I have them (we don’t eat their foods too often) and the kids can take in money from recycling cans and plastic bottles (hubby and his friends drink lots of packaged beverages) and donate it to the school.
I completely agree. I sometimes donate cash flat out if I support the cause, but I won’t buy stuff I don’t want. That goes for friend’s sales too, like Pampered Chef or Simply Delicious. My husband often feels guilty, particularly because he’s a pastor and feels obligated when kids ask. But I say we are generous and they’ll see that over the long haul. Plus I think if they knew they.had to choose between our buying some trinket that gets them marginally closer to their goal to win a prize OR our giving $ that helps them go to summer camp, they’d pick summer camp!
100% totally AGREED.
Yes on Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts – we have one of each.
I detest how my son comes home all hyped up about a school fundraiser because they’ve offered cheap crap prizes. And I’d much rather make a donation (and I do) directly to the school/PTA so that they get all of it and not one half of one percent or what ever the ridiculous rate is.
My daughter attends a private school and they simply do a fundraising campaign each year where they ask current families, alumni, supporters, etc to give a one time donation. No gimmicks, no cheap crap. I’m totally on board with that!
You hit a topic that causes me to de-lurk, that’s for sure! I hate fundraisers for pulbic school on pure principle. Why? Because all that tax money we pay is supposed to go to only those items necessary: books, pencils, papers, teachers, etc… Anything that needs fundraising are to cover costs for things that shouldn’t be in school anyway. Fundraising allows the school to be irresponsible with their money.
Additionally, we want to tear down kids’ lemonade stands because they don’t have the “proper permits” (yes, it has happened) but we’re okay with using child labor when it pertains to pushing the school/companies agendas. Let’s face it, who really wins? The magazine companies, the candle makers, the wrapping paper companies, etc…
When it comes to private non-profit organizations and school (girl scouts, boy scouts, etc…) I am a bit more flexible because they have to get extra income somehow to provide and there is only so much they can charge parents. However, when it’s a for-profit private organization (dance studio) I draw the line there as well.
I love the idea of telling your kid “we don’t participate” and teaching them early those principles. Spending a dollar is a small price to pay and, let’s face it, sometimes we need to spend a dollar for ourselves, too. I might even go a bit further and say, “we don’t participate because of principles, instead you can donate this amount to a charity”…and they still get a dollar store prize anyway (which is probably gonig to last much longer than any of those other prizes (although I do miss those little fuzzy guys with the googly eyes and the sticky feet, remember those? But if I recall from my childhood everyone got one).
On that note, I never buy from people at work and let my sibling know to inform me when certain sales go on because, afterall, I do need to renew magazine subscriptions (which is often times the best deals I can find) and who doesn’t love girl scout cookies (but that money is spent wisely).
We only participate in our Daycare fund raisers if it’s something like the coupon books etc. A local retailer does a charity sale twice a year and the tickets are $5 each then you get $5 off your first purchase the morning of the event. The full $5 from the ticket goes to the Daycare and the person buying the ticket gets their $5 back so I don’t feel guilty because they’re putting money toward a purchase they’d make anyway for shoes or clothes. The prize for most sales for us is usually a free week of daycare ($100.00 for one child), but their has to be a minimum number of tickets sold by everyone to have a prize available.
When I was your daughter’s age I remembered selling raffle tickets to my relatives and neighbors for a school fundraiser and I remembered wanting to have the most sales because you get some sort of recognition for being the kid with the most tickets sold. We shouldn’t be guilty about not wanting to buy something we do not want or need. I would make a flat-out donation too if I didn’t feel like having my kid participate. But I would definitely suggest making it up to your kid somehow. I remembered as a kid I wanted to participate because I didn’t want to be left out.
“Is that an appropriate way to deal with the situation?” YES,YES,YES! Over-priced, yucky pizzas? NO. Over-priced yucky chocolate? NO. Wrapping paper? NO, I have plenty and much cheaper. The “gift” catalogues are the worst. I wouldn’t gift those things to someone I didn’t like.
Everything Jennifer said, except: Some of the fundraiser money for our school goes to Assemblies, some are Educational Fun and some are Character Building Fun and some are just Fun (although the puppet re-telling of fairy tales could be considered character/morale learning, I suppose). That sounds like we’re having assemblies all the time, it’s not, just two-ish a year.
The middle school came up with the best one. The woodshop class made large plaques and for $10-$15 one could buy a small brass plate that will be attached to that year’s plaque. This was the only whole school fundraiser. There have been others for sports, band, a student in need, etc.
I’d suggest that if you can’t participate in a fundraiser, try some other way of raising money for the school! If you can’t give money yourself, your child will have to learn that sometimes families have to make sacrifices and not be a part of things.
TOTALLY AGREE! My son (when he was age 10) was sent home with two boxes of World’s Finest Chocolate for a MANDATORY fundraiser without prior notice from the school. The school told him that whatever he didn’t sell, his family would have to purchase. He is the first kid off the bus and he accidentally left both boxes under his seat on the bus. Of course, we went and tracked the bus driver down, looked under his seat and no candy to be found anywhere on the bus. Some other kid probably took it to sell and profit from or eat. I wrote out a check to the school for $188 to cover the price of the candy that we were neither aware of or agreed to. I paid it, and I won’t go into detail, but I promise that the school will never ask me or my children to participate in a fundraiser. And I’m sure they’ll never send anything home with my child without my prior consent. Live and learn.
Do go into detail: how did you get the school to listen when you said ‘no’? In my experience, if you cover the cost of the loss, “they” just see someone with “patsy” tattooed across his forehead.
Jen, I agree, except that I don’t even buy those stupid coupon cards. $20 for a BOGO half-off offer on scads of nothing I would buy anyway? I got stuck buying two of those last time because my high schooler thought she had buyers lined up who hadn’t come through when the sale ended.
I object in principle to using el cheapo Oriental Trading incentives and peer pressure to get our kids to hustle products that couldn’t hold their own in the open marketplace? Never! Especially when the school, etc., is only getting fraction of the proceeds.
I buy, and help sell, Girl Scout cookies, because they have a demand independent of the poverty plea. In general, I’d much rather see fund raisers like car washes, where the students are producing the product sold, and the only incentives are the esprit de corps from working towards a common goal and the proceeds *they* generated.
Lance ==)——————
Accomplished Curmudgeon
We’re a homeschooling family, and I have some major beefs with how schools are funded in my state. One of the things to which I object is that the school can spend fundraised money however they like. With most charitable causes, I’m happy to help if there’s a wish list. Let me know specifically what you need, and I’ll see how I can help.
As for having kids sell stuff, I think that’s a rotten manipulation of the kids, it sets parent against child if the parent doesn’t want to participate, and it encourages the kids to nag and beg for what they want.
Like you said, I’d be happy to work with my kid to participate in a bake sale, craft fair, or some such. And I’d be happy to help with a wish list, but that’s it. And that goes for most causes, not just schools.
Totally agree with you too. We donate money directly to our church and other worthy causes. The fastest way to lose my support is to try to sell me junk I don’t need. I might even be allergic to fundraisers. And by the response you got to this post, I don’t think I’m the only one. 🙂
The school fundraising i remember in our school time we also use to do it. And hell i was scared how to sell the tickets then. My most of the friends are rich and thier parent use to buy all tickets but i was from not so rich family and was always unable to sell all he tickets..this program is good but for some child it is like a night mare.
My daughter is only two, so we haven’t dealt with it from the perspective of being the sellers. But, it seems like my niece and nephew are selling something every other week (and it doesn’t help that they are involved in every imaginable thing out there, so they aren’t just raising money for their school, but for outside activities as well). We only buy the things we are truly interested in, like the butterbraids. I’m so glad to hear how you have handled this as I wasn’t sure what we were gonna do when our daughter starts school and feels pressured to sell. But, I can just hear my husband now when I mention making a donation to the school instead. He’ll say that’s what our taxes are for…
Glad to have given you ideas Sharon!
I run a fundraising company called PaperFunds. I say this upfront because I don’t want it to look like I’m “slipping it in”. I ran across this posting and felt the need to comment because we created our company in direct response to all the frustrations shared by the readers of this page. We’ve created a fundraiser that sells things absolutely everyone needs (paper towels and toilet paper) and at a great price too (please feel free to compare our pricing to the wholesale clubs). We have three kids of our own, and couldn’t take being overcharged for stuff we didn’t want.
You CAN sell fairly priced and useful, good quality products and still earn the money you need. We’re having a lot of success with the schools, churches, and sports clubs we’re working with.
Please feel free to check out our site, or shoot me an email. I’d love to hear what anyone thinks. Thanks!
My son is 3 year old and I refused to participate to the chocolate fundraising charity as his preschool for various reasons so I returned the chocolate to the office. Now the school is adding the fee for the unsold chocolates to my bill. Is that legal? How can i fight it? Any advice on how to resolve this issue would be appreciated.
Sabrina-I’m sorry to hear that you are having such trouble? I am not a legal expert by any means, so I really can’t give you any advice other than to start by reviewing your contract with the preschool to make sure there isn’t anything about that policy in there, questioning the preschool about the policy and then speaking to a lawyer.