Photo by Susy
Ok, I think these are so much fun! Here is a “what would you do” question:
Someone you know well, but don’t consider a really “close” friend, unexpectedly gives you a very nice Christmas gift. You hadn’t planned or budgeted a gift for this person. . . what would you do?
Me? Well, I’d probably check my gift box upstairs to see if I had a small gift that would work (I know I have a beaded silver picture frame I picked up for a pittance at Pier 1 a few years back) or I’d whip them up a batch of caramel corn and package it in one of the Christmas tins I store up in the craft closet for emergency gifts.
What about you? What would you do?
Hmm. Honestly, if it is someone who I’m not that close to, I’d probably thank them and move on.
I’m not a big fan of giving a lot of gifts to friends (call me Scrooge) and once you start gifting with someone, it’s hard to stop. So I’d thank the person profusely, explain I’m not a big gift gifter and only give to family and leave it at that.
Next year, the person probably wouldn’t give me a gift. I’d hate to exchange an awkward moment for a liftetime of having to give a gift to someone I’m not that close to. Plus, they’d know the gift was just a quid pro quo, so there’s awkwardness there anyway.
Now, if the person was someone I truly want to exchange gifts with, I’d get them something.
This is happening with one of my husband’s co-workers this year. She is 19, an only child, lives with her parents and doesn’t pay bills. Her father even pays for her gas. She works full time, and so has a LOT of spending money. She wants to buy my hubby a gift for xmas. We are in no financial position to reciprocate, so she will get some homemade cookies.
Gifts are to be given out of love or gratitude or a whole list of pure thankful emotions — not out of obligations. If I get a gift from someone unexpectedly, I thank them genuinely and move on. It is what I hope people will do when I give them a gift.
It really depends on the person. I have a stash of goodies that I buy at 75-90% clearance for Secret Prayer Partner gifts and they often can be pulled for the occasion. We don’t give many friends gifts, so I also buy inexpensive food stuffs (flavored coffee packets, teas…) and make candy or cookies that can be quickly arranged into a gift bag. Also a card of thanks is often sufficient.
I’m whip up a basket filled with cookies, breads and homemade hot chocolate. Add a nice ribbon and you’re all set.
My go-to in-a-pinch gift is a jar of my homemade strawberry or fig jam. I give these as neighbor and teacher gifts and always have a few extra sitting on top of the pie safe in our living room during the Christmas season. They’ve already got ribbons and homemade gift tags on them — just in case.
And who doesn’t like homemade jam?
I have a box in the attic with afew “generic” items, a wallet, a foldup umbrella, a holiday pin, bath salts. I would take one of these items and wrap it up and give it to my friend. Jean
I would go with the caramel corn idea that you mention. I made caramel corn from your recipe as a side or small Christmas gift for many of my in-laws and their friends a couple of years ago. Last year I didn’t find time to make it, and I received numerous complaints about not bringing that gift again! So this year it is on the top of my list of homemade gifts to prepare.
My policy is to graciously say thank you and not to worry about reciprocating. I have a friend that I always give gifts and I understand that her financial situation is difficult and I never expect anything in return. She’s always graciously appreciative of everything that I give her.
Who knows whether your homemade goodies would be MORE treasured by this person than any expensive gift you could buy? We know people who don’t have the time (so they think) to bake, or the skills (ditto — though I disagree). Especially guys. They’d LOVE a homemade cookie or batch of caramel corn much more than some silly tie or box.
If you’re feeling especially guilty about it, though, combine the caramel corn with a cheap DVD from Wal-Mart. Looks much more substantial: problem solved.
I would write them a lovely thank you card and tell them about some trait that they have that I admire or some incident that we shared that we either both thought was funny or meaningful. I would also suggest a date to have coffee with them or invite them over. I have found in the past when someone gives me an unexpected gift that it is a tentative gesture that they want to build a stronger friendship or that they are lonely and trying to make friends.
If I was the gift-giver, I would hope that the person would thank me and not feel pressured to give something in return if they hadn’t already planned on it. It would make me feel bad that I’d put them in an awkward situation.
If it were me, I’d feel pressured to find something to give in return. But knowing my schedule, I’d never find the time to make a special shopping trip and would resolve to get them something the next year. Most often, people give you something right before they leave for vacation and there’s not an opportunity to reciprocate until after the fact. I’d send them a hand-written thank you note, though.