That’s how the saying goes, yet in today’s society it seems more and more that it is the cost of an item that counts. The multimillion dollar commercial machine has put a lot of effort into convincing us that special gifts are need for each and every event, party, holiday and milestone in our lives. I’m amazed by the various “greeting card” holidays that keep popping up (what the heck is Sweetest Day? Isn’t that the same as valentine day, only in October??), as well as the events that now seem to require mandatory gifts (I NEVER remember ever giving a coach or a teacher and end of year/season gift. I don’t even remember ever giving a teacher a Christmas gift). You could go broke in a year just buying gifts for all these events.
Having kids brings the consumerism to a fevered pitch. I am blessed that there are so many gennerous and thoughtful people in my kid’s lives, but at the holidays (be it Christmas or Birthdays) the sheer number of gifts can be overwhelming.
It can take Princess and Buddy literally all day to open their Christmas presents. Granted, I try not to rush them and to let them play with things as they open them. The fact of the matter is that my kids already have TONS of toys, and each holiday I know they will receive tons more. They have so many toys that they never even play with some of them. Immediately after Christmas I take some of them and hide them in the closet until a rainy day when I need the extra distraction of a “new” toy.
Because of this excess, dh and I don’t buy our kids much for holidays. I know, I know, it sounds blasphemous-but honestly, why should we? I don’t have anything to prove to anyone else-If I know that the Grands and Aunties etc are going to shower them with toys, I don’t feel the necessity to do the same just to prove I can. And even if no one else gave my kids a thing, I would keep the gifts to 3 or 4 well chosen ones, and then maybe a few little “trinkets” like chapstick or stickers from the dollar store. Gifts should be chosen based on your child and your budget, and not just to meet a minimum “cost” (oh, I have to buy little Johnny something that is at least $20. . .. .). I refuse to be sucked into the consumerism.
For example, this year Princess is getting the following:
#1- A pretty pink hat and purse to go with the dress that Nana bought her for Easter-bought at the dollar store. Total $2.
#2- A mermaid Barbie doll (which is a total rip off on the Disney Princesses Ariel Barbie) again bought at the dollar store. She will get this at the family party and the doll will be used in her requested “Barbie Cake” for her friends party on Saturday. Total (obviously) $1
#3- 2 very pretty summer sundresses I bought at the Salvation Army for $3.99 each. Both look brand new! Princess is probably the only 5 yr old I know who will actually be excited at receiving clothes for her birthday. Total $8
#4- 3 christian videos that I picked up at the Dollar General in December for $2 each. (The series is called “3-2-1 Penguins and was made by the Veggie Tales folks). Total $6
#5- Strawberry shortcake markers and a compact of lip glosses that I picked up in the after Christmas sales at Wally World (I keep stuff like that in my gift box-but that is an article for another time). They probably totaled about $3.
#6- Since Princess loves nightgowns to sleep in, and has outgrown her summer ones, I am going to package up a pattern and enough fabric for two nightgowns. That is the only thing I haven’t actually bought yet-but I probably won’t have to spend more than $20 (and that is if I buy some nice themed fabric, like Barbie or Strawberry Shortcake etc. I already have all the notions, buttons and lace I would need on hand).
That brings the grand total for her gifts to approx $40, maybe less depending on how much the fabric costs. I challenge anyone to look at what she is receiving and tell me that she is somehow missing out or not receiving enough. And that is without the gifts from 3 sets of grandparents, 2 great grandparents, and 5 sets of aunts and uncles. Not to mention whatever she receives from her little friends at her party.
It’s funny, but what we often remember of gifts is not the big-ticket things. My favorite part of Christmas eve (when we opened gifts) was the stocking! I loved dumping it out and seeing what cool little trinkets my mother had found for us. There were six kids and no money, but somehow Christmases and birthdays were always magical. I think the Strawberry Shortcake markers would have impressed me more as a little girl than the most fancy-shmancy expensive art kit. If it’s colorful and pretty, that’s all that matters to a little girl!
At least you don’t have to worry about her uncle showering her with gifts, because I totally forgot about it (and her cousin Bruno’s birthday, too). Now I feel like a total moron.
Sorry.
Hi Jenn! Your post today reminds me of Easter presents. As a kid, we got Easter baskets with candy (a big deal since we hadn’t had any since Ash Wednesday) and otherwise, Easter was about Easter, not presents. I get the impression that kids expect Easter candy in the weeks before Easter too. And presents. Hmmmm. Maybe a new Bible? We got devotional books one year. And once beautiful spring coats. Happy birthdays!
Like Mom2Fur, the gifts I remember weren’t the expensive ones; the Christmas I was 7 my mother made me a Candy Striper uniform–really just a dress out of red-and-white-striped fabric with a white apron–and found a plastic nurse’s kit with toy pill bottles (the “pills” were candy) and things like that in it. I still remember how much I loved that gift; my greatest dream at the time was to be a Candy Striper. Also, when I was in 7th grade my sister made me a stuffed lion for Christmas that I still hug on when I’m sad (I’m nearly 40, if that tells you anything). That Christmas she also made me a flannel nightgown and matching velour bathrobe that I wore until college. I love getting homemade gifts, except for those jars full of stuff with a recipe tied around the lid–those recipes never work. 🙂
Oh, and btw, I have no idea what Sweetest Day is supposed to be. I never heard of it till I moved to New York. I refuse to acknowledge it.
Sweetest Day is usually the 3rd Saturday in October. I do celebrate it well at least when it falls on my Birthday.
We only buy our kids (we have four) Four things for Christmas. I have in-laws and my parents who say the “Well, I have to at least spend this much for Him, so I have to spend this much for all of them…” Where I don’t think my 9 month old is going to give a rats rear end if she doesn’t get as much as her 8 year old brother. Anywway…
Our gifts are always broken down into these groups:
1.One thing they want
2.One thing they need
3.One thing practical
4.One thing Spiritual
That way they always know what they are going to get for christmas, and you can plan ahead to shop and buy frugal.Let everyone else waste their money …
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I’m one who always feels bad if i dont “spend” money at christmas…I feel like Im letting my kids down…but I can so see the other side of it now…I like the idea of the “4′ gifts….it would help my kds learn that its not all about the presents! thank you